A Lesson In Patience

Hello Everyone!

Two posts in the same week! Booyah. I have learned several things the past four days, so let's start with that.

Things I have learned:
-Flies are the bane of my existence. Ponytails do wonders to keep them off your face and neck however.
-How to tell the difference between male and female flies based on butt shape.
-Marijuana reeks.
-The devil is strong and has a lot of lies in his arsenal. But the truth of God is stronger.
-Being constantly stared at makes a person feel more like an object than a human. The same goes for people wanting to take your picture (or have their picture taken with you) because you have white skin and blonde hair.

We left for our camping trip on Monday. It was raining when we left and didn't stop raining until Tuesday afternoon. Monsoon season? Not quite. It rained a little bit Wednesday morning and then again once we got back from our trip. Any day now, though.

The rain made for interesting driving conditions on the way to our campsite. We had to stop a couple of times and move rocks off the road. Hard rain causes rock slides. And the last 40 minutes of our drive is on unpaved road. The ground was soft and there were lots of puddles, but the jeeps made it through. At one point, some rocks even fell on one of the jeeps, but they weren't big and no damage was done. The walk from the village where we park the jeeps to our campsite was muddy. The trails turn into little streams so we were walking through a lot of water as well. Thankfully my poncho kept me fairly dry - only the bottom of my jeans and my feet got wet.

This time, instead of camping in tents on our normal site, we slept in one of the villages. Our missionaries rent a couple of rooms in one of the houses. and this is where they normally store a lot of their camping gear. The girls slept in one of the rooms and the boys slept in the other. We set up a tarp outside and this is where we put the kitchen. It was nice to sleep in a waterproof building and there was also a toilet available - a squatting toilet, but still something more than a tree. The only downside to staying in the village was all the flies. Swarms of them, and they didn't know the concept of personal space. They woke you up in the morning by flying at your face and they were always around during the day. Thankfully they slept at night, so we had a break. One morning I woke up and counted 47 flies on the ceiling. Mmm. The reason there are so many flies is because the people keep their cows and water buffalo under their houses. Imagine a two-story house. The top level would be where the family actually lives. The bottom level is basically a barn - this is where the livestock sleep. And where there are cows, there are flies.

But overall it was an enjoyable trip. The kids spent a lot more time with us since where we were staying was right by their houses. It was fun to be around them. I have noticed that the kids are very open to being loved and are willing to accept you. This time especially I had a lot of kids calling me "Didi," or "big sister." The second night we had a henna party with about a dozen village girls. Everyone got henna painted on one hand and we brought nail polish and painted everyone's fingers and toes. It was a lot of fun and the girls really enjoyed it.

It felt wonderful to get back to the house this afternoon. For the first time, I walked through the front gate and had the strong feeling that I had come home. I love it here at the house. Someone commented yesterday that our time here is half over. Only four weeks left. Part of me is hoping the next four weeks don't fly by and part of my hopes they do.

Let me explain. My one main frustration so far has been trying to figure out my purpose here. I know for certain that God wanted me here for a reason, but I don't know what that reason is. This has resulted in me feeling pretty useless. Eight weeks isn't long enough to really do anything. We're halfway through and I'm finally learning the basic Hindi and how to get from the house to the bazaar and back. I know my main role here is as an observer and learner. But I don't have a specific area that I am really passionate about. My teammates seem to have something that they get really excited about, whether that be working with the kids or hiking to villages. I have gone from content to frustrated to, now, apathetic. Which is terrible. I feel like I could have been anywhere this summer and I would feel the way I do now. Nothing has really impacted me. Does that make sense? It's really hard to put that all into words. To sum up: I'm happy being here and will probably be sad to leave, but at the same time I would be just as happy at home right now.

But I truly have enjoyed my time here. I have an awesome team and each day brings us closer. To write all of the small fun moments we have had would take forever and wouldn't do any of the moments any justice. So I won't try. I wouldn't trade my time here for anything. I just wish I knew why I was here. I was really expecting to be impacted more than I have been.

Wow. That's long enough for this entry. Let's wrap this thing up.

Prayer requests:
-The continued health and unity of my team here in India.
-The health and safety of the other SOSers all over the world.
-The villagers we have met, those who are Christians and those we have given Bibles and seeds to, that they may look at us and see Jesus and that our smiles and simple "Namaste"s leave some impact.
-My general attitude. That I would look to God for my purpose and not spend too much time feeling sorry for myself. That my focus would return to my time here and the people around me. That these next four weeks don't speed by and that I will be content, no matter my circumstances.

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